I understand Curling. That high.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
