i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
