I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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