New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
