so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
