the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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