I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize
