have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have fence marks all over my body
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
