That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i think i just lost a toe
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
