so explain again why im purple
no
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
