Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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