I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
