Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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