Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
