1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
