so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
