Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
