I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
