Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
