i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My penis needs a shock collar
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
