hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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