two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
