Small penises have feelings too.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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