You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
