So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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