Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
