So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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