you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize