ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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