so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
