the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I donβt know if Iβm flattered or creeped out
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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