No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize