HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
