I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
