I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
