i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
