Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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