Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize