I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I am one with the molecules
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize