Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
