is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
