About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
