Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
