I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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