so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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