whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
