i would punch a child for taco bell
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
