What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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