So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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