2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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