i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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