Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
