Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
