Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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