Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
