If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize