No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
