please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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