Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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