We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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