At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
