Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
