Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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